My 33rd Birthday: Hitting My Reset Button

I don’t understand why a lot of people give a fuzz when asked about their age especially if theirs is already past the 31 calendar days. I’m unsure if I’m actually inclined towards that mentality as well; somehow, I feel like having nearly little time too to catch up on my ideal what-should-have-could-have-would-have-might-have-beens.

My 33^rd birthday feels like a rebirth. Before the 29^th day of this month, my mom asked me for my birthday plans. Of course, with my load of responsibilities at this point, I have nada. I told her that I’d rather use my remaining penny for my bills because I don’t have extra. She just nodded. Although I suppose, if she has extra too, she would be willing to cooperate on the preparation. But there’s nothing really to prepare.

I spent my birthday in Quezon City. It was an ordinary day that was quite productive and meaningful.

I arrived at SM North lunch time and I opted to try eating at a new burger place. (I saw there Ditse Cynthia’s family, who were just from an athletic bonding activity, and a workmate from PESO, whom I chit-chatted a bit.) The burger place in Annex started to piss me off because their food serving time was extremely long! Even if they gave free nachos and the manager has excellent PR skills, I would always think twice before eating there again. LESSON LEARNED: NO MATTER HOW GOOD YOU ARE, IF YOU’VE BEEN FAULTY AT ONE POINT, YOU’D HAVE A HARD TIME GETTING BACK SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN DISAPPOINTED.

Second stop was BDO. The line was super long as always. Good thing I remember I’m pregnant. I was able to skip the line and was serviced faster at the special lane for senior citizens, PWDs, and pregnant women. Although of course, it was also queuing there, at least I was still able to get my transaction done faster. LESSON LEARNED: DON’T BE DISHEARTENED RIGHT AWAY. USE YOUR MIND TO SEEK OPPORTUNITIES THAT RIGHTFULLY BELONG TO YOU.

Third stop – MassComm library – and it’s closed. My main purpose for going to UP was to return the two books I borrowed there. At first I couldn’t believe what I was just reading on the bulletin board. But what can I do? Nothing. I thought of going home right away. I also decided to check another library. I did the latter. On my way to the CAL libe, I looked around for symbolic icons that would be nice to post on Instagram. I saw the Chicken Feet which I have totally ignored all my college life in UP. There I got the symbol three and three! LESSON LEARNED: EVEN IF YOU HAVE WORKED SO HARD TO ACHIEVE SOMETHING, IF IT’S NOT FOR YOU, IT AIN’T FOR YOU. LOOK AROUND. THERE MAY BE GIFTS FROM THE PAST THAT CAN COMPLETE YOUR PRESENT. BUT THEN AGAIN, YOU’LL NEED TO HAVE A KEEN EYE.

The Chicken Feet

My fourth stop: The Main Library. After finding out that MassComm libe was closed, I went next to the CAL library, which was also closed. I was already getting annoyed. I told myself, “Great. So this is my 33^rd birthday – nonsense.” Again I started to think of going home but something inside me kept on saying, don’t give up just yet. So I went to the main library. It was open! Yes! My efforts are not wasted! On top of these, just when I thought that it closes at 4:00 pm, it’s actually 5:00pm! I got an hour extra. Even if I was unable to revisit the archives, at least I was able to re-experience how it is to spend my time in my favourite library in the world. LESSON LEARNED: NO MATTER HOW BAD THE SITUATION MAY SEEM, IT WILL CHANGE. DON’T GIVE UP EASILY. 

Study Time at the Main Library

Trinoma, last stop of the day. I phoned my mom to check if she’s attending the prayer meeting. Affirmed. She told me to join her at the anticipated mass. I declined because Sundays are sacred to me. (It’s my solo-parent-nuclear family’s Lord’s Day and family day. Vladimir is always expecting that after attending the mass, we should be elsewhere to spend quality time together with his sister Hami.) I told her that I will stroll at the mall a bit and let her know if I’m already on my way home.

I went to Landmark first to buy some beauty items. Then I proceeded to the National Bookstore. I checked for some art materials for my scrap book but most of the things I see are also available at my mom’s school supplies store. I wanted to buy colourful pens but I still have aplenty. Finally, I bought myself a nice birthday present, an inspirational book written by Marc V. Lopez – Hit Your Life’s Reset Button: You Can Start Again Today.

While eating pansit at the food court, I started reading the book. I felt like the book was talking directly to me. Its strong birthday message to me was, NO MATTER HOW WASTED YOU THINK YOUR LIFE HAS BEEN, YOU CAN PRESS YOUR LIFE’S RESET BUTTON ANYTIME BECAUSE THE LORD HAD SAYETH, ‘YOU AREPRECIOUS IN MY EYES AND GLORIOUS!

My gift for myself wasn’t just the book I bought and the girly stuff I purchased. I also spent time with my kiddos the following day at home. Hami is already getting more active! And Vladimir is also forming a tighter bond with my brother, his Uncle Gerson. Every time my son is at my place, he would be playing Wii Yu with his uncle and they would talk as if they’re buddies.

I capped my me-day watching Disney’s Hercules cartoon. It’s a love story. The film made me realize that EVEN IF ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS MAY SEEM TO BE NOT MY CUP OF TEA, I SHOULD JUST BE THANKFUL OF THE BEAUTIFUL MOMENTS THAT HAPPENED AND ENDED, AND AT PRESENT, ENJOY LIFE TO THE FULLEST. THIS IS HAPPINESS AT 33!

Sundate with Tito Gerson and Kids

Since I moved back in to my parents’ house, it had been my habit to treat Sundays as important, non-negotiable family date time with my children. Yesterday was a good one.

After attending the holy mass, my kids and I, together with my brother and nephew, went to Trinoma to chill a bit. I was initially planning to take Vladimir to Timezone, have a simple lunch at Trinoma, and buy myself maternity pants at Landmark.

For a single mom who is just making ends meet but could not afford to trade off Sunday to a monotonous day, I couldn’t stop mentally computing how much I have been spending from one stop to another. I was actually waiting for that moment when I could quit worrying and just fully enjoy what we were doing since my kids were having fun anyway. That momentum arrived when I finally bought my selfie phone a new case. It was rather costly but it’s nowhere available in Valenzuela so somehow, the positive experience fully charged my draining happiness meter.

Aside from the personal stuff I bought, I was also happy that my son was able to play again at Timezone, his favourite part in Trinoma. My daughter also enjoyed walking and running on the aisles with Diether while I was checking on some maternity garments (Hami’s fun time is far cheaper than Vladimir). Gerson and Vladimir checked some newly released toys and games for Wii-yu. They purchase Mario Brothers. When we arrived home, they played it right away until I asked my son to prepare for bed because he has classes the next day.

"I am your mother."

Mario Cart for Wii-yu

Proud solo parent family

Our Sunday family bonding was a whole lotta fun. But since I spent a little too much that day, I’m thinking of making our next Sunday less expensive but equally fun. We might go artsy.

Allow Me To Humblebrag

“Humblebrag.” I saw this word few months ago from a friend-writer’s tweet. So this is the appropriate term for some of the netizens’ habit of posting expensive earthly possessions on social media, captioning it with “feeling blessed.” Hmmm.

Indeed, I’m a little irked every time I see a Facebook friend boast about something ostentatious, most especially if I happen to know the person as a certified attention seeker. I just opt to view the humblebrag as something positive because perhaps, the person posting the “stuff” is simply sharing his happiness. After all, isn’t it that we should be glad for others' joy? Especially if they achieved something without stepping on somebody else’s foot.

I hope I am not humblebragging that I’m sharing here what causes me profound happiness at present. This has something to do with my great pride of being able to help a student make her education expense a little more bearable by hiring her as one of my temporary internet shop aides.

Here’s the letter I recently received:

Since I handled our small internet shop in Malinta, it has always been my mission to hire working students. I want to be of help to diligent students in finishing their studies by providing them access to unlimited computer and internet use, while also granting few allowance based on their service rendered.

More than any colorful and neatly done certificate of appreciation that I have ever received, this letter is far more valuable for me. It was sincerely written and it validated my sense of hope, that despite the many wrong decisions I made in my life, I’m still able to do something right.

Journaling Towards Healing

It’s the time of the year when I have to bury myself again in grade computation. I have 21 units this sem and I have more or less 50 students per section. I’m teaching technical writing and I have to check over 300 papers. Deadline of grade submission? This Friday. Oh by the way, I have to attend my master’s class tomorrow and I have to write Tagalog articles for a local magazine. I have just come out from the hospital from gastritis and I am still working on some other personal and office concerns. Whew.

I have been told a couple of times by people who are older than me that I should just chill and not worry too much. Although I’m trying my best to exercise what they tell me, it’s quite difficult to do. I really need an inexpensive outlet where I could express my self-love. While it’s good that I can write for writing is therapeutic, I’m looking for another no-brain-required diversion since writing is also my profession. I want to stop overthinking.

Actually, the purpose why I’m writing now is because I’m inspired to do journaling just like what my Christian officemates are doing. In our recent casual conversation, they said that when you meditate through journaling first thing in the morning, you get to acquire positive vibes. And I need a humongous dose of this right now.

King and I.
With the young guy who's jolly on the outside and spiritually mature on the inside.

I’m physically tired. But since I love what I’m doing, my being workaholic is my addiction that I couldn’t seem to quit from. If I bury myself to work until my mortal body refuses to function, is this still a form self-love? Hmmm. So, the way I love is the same way I self-destruct?

I want a massage.

Light For Somebody Else’s Storm

There’s typhoon today and there are no classes in all school levels. I hope my fellow Filipinos in affected areas today will not be devastated again. Today’s weather condition is related with what I want to share: storm.

I was speaking with a good friend earlier who’s on the verge of quitting our MA class. I told him not to. While we were chatting via Facebook messenger, a thought struck me: Failing is a blessing in disguise. Why? Because in failing you are humbled, and you get to see that there is more to life than pursuing what you want. There are many ways to be happy.

SIDE NOTE: What will make me happy today? I want to go to Templora and I have my facial treatment there but since money is tight right now, I scanned my beauty kit instead and contented myself with my Celeteque instant wrinkle smoothing cream and in2it BB make-up cream to conceal my zits. Feeling beautiful daily can really do wonders. I believe you should feel good on the outside so that you would also feel good inside despite the storms that consistently bring havoc in your life.

I opened my lappy and scanned some pics that are worth sharing. I stumbled upon this photo which was taken when a highschool close friend visited me at work. We both applied for a solo parent identification card so we could get another additional seven days off from work through the solo parent leave benefit. 

This photo represents another reason why I don’t want to quit working at the city hall – I get to help others through assisting them in accessing the government’s social services. (I get to have an instant date too!)

From time to time, I would be receiving private messages from acquaintances asking me stuff that they want to know. Good thing, through being a news writer, I have already built rapport with a handful of office personnel here at the workplace, that’s why providing help to other people is often possible. Sometimes though, I get a little grumpy when askers would give me very limited time to process their requests. Of course, I have to prioritize my job over the favors that I would have to coordinate for them. Usually, I would just take a deep breath, and thank the Lord that at least I get to help others, then attend to their requests anyway. I hope others could understand that even if I’m a government employee, I do not have authority in everything. I have limitations too. But of course I’m always willing to extend aid.

Deep in my heart I really want to have that “purpose-driven life.” My work here at the government satisfies that self-actualization need. While I wouldn’t deny that I have my own storms right now, I’m glad to claim that I’m doing better now because I am capable of becoming somebody else’s light in occasional moments of darkness.

Hotel Stotsenberg

One nice thing about working in the government is that you get to travel to places for free. Just this year, I was able to stay in two hotels in Pampanga through our Gender And Development (GAD) Technical Working Group (TWG). I blogged about the first one on August 21, 2016, entitled “Seminar At Grand Lewis Hotel.” This time, I’m going to share about Stotsenberg Hotel.

Link: http://missvalenzuela.blogspot.com/2016/08/seminar-at-lewis-grand-hotel.html

With My GADmates

Health Food: sunflower seed shared by Tita Vicky

GAD TWG went there to finish documenting the DILG requirements from our group. Our team was able to accomplish what we’re supposed to do ahead of time. Unfortunately, I had here my first gastritis attack. On our seminar’s second day, I stayed at my assigned room and rested. I felt something strange but I ignored it.

The following day, I heard my GADmates sharing ghost stories about the hotel. Georgia, our gay member, shared with us that the hotel used to be a military camp during the American occupation in the Philippines. My colleagues started talking about seeing the ghosts of a grandpa and his grandson, and a white lady and a black lady somewhere at the second floor. I was also stunned upon finding out that there were no occupants at the room beside ours, when my roommates and I were just complaining that the ‘family’ on the next room was noisy and inconsiderate to our peaceful night’s sleep. The team agreed that we’ll never book again in that haunted hotel.

Anyway, regardless of this one of a kind experience, I’d like to share some pictures that you might find lovely about the place, just in case you decide to brave it there.