Smoking, Fraternity and the Lesbo in Me

     I’m no chain smoker at least at this point, but smoking somehow has been a necessity for me at work these days. “Yosi,” our colloquial term for smoking, is serving as my breather every time I feel like I’m having too much work.

     I tried smoking way back in college, when I got the opportunity to befriend a Tamano from a powerful clan in Muslim Mindanao. She’s a beautiful woman who’s very cool and nice too. She smokes every time we chitchat during our vacant period. Having in mind that second hand smoke is more dangerous than the first hand, I tried smoking too. It was a so-so experience and I did not get addicted to it. I just liked her company that’s why I also smoke whenever I’m with her. I stopped smoking when I noticed that my front teeth were getting brittle.

     And now in the office, with the pressure I’m getting there, I’m beginning to ran back to find my peace and solace in smoking. My yosi buddies, who are usually guys (sometimes gays), tag me along for yosi breaks. These are the same folks who I would go out with for beer sprees when I’m free.

     My life style is gradually shifting again from being homey to carefree. The latter gives me a very strong sense of social belongingness because once again, I get to do the things that make me enjoy life better each day.

     I’m the only woman in our yosi circle of friends. My best buddies right now are Kuya Rex, Harry, and Rafraf. Kuya Rex is always the accommodating one. Harry is the youngest – he’s smart and listens to reason, but does things his way if he believes he’s correct. And Rafraf, he’s our rock star!

     At this age, I think I’m excreting more androgen than estrogen. I appreciate better the company of boys who are just always chilling; unlike girls who are always complaining and over-thinking of plenty of stuff. Being surrounded by male machismo is like a warp zone for me, in a good light, because I get to discover the different side of men unknown to many women. Sitting with them over bottles of beer is just like my Anthropology days in college, when immersion was required to understand a different gendered space. And I love my learning experience.

     For the new close friends I have, here’s what I have to say: Cheers to my fraternity!