When Do You Stop Being a Parent?

It is a common practice among Filipino parents to give their children the gift of education as a way of planting seeds for their future. When students are asked why they want to finish schooling, the common responses would be – they want to help their families, they want to put an end to their poverty, or they want to assume the role as co-providers for the schooling of their younger siblings.

After I graduated in college, my father stopped working because he thought that I can already assume his responsibility as a family provider. I anguished quietly because I thought that he was being unfair. I surrendered my ATM to my mother so she could collect my bi-monthly paycheck and I was only being given a daily allowance, enough for me to reach and leave the office and maybe buy myself some candies. I suppressed the growing envy inside me as I watched my peers enjoy their salaries for themselves while me, I only get the chance to buy myself some new clothes when I am able to sell Avon and Natasha products to my officemates.

Later in life, my eyes were opened about when it is really the “end” of being a parent. I was demystified of what I heard from Mr. Ric Yu, a Fil-Chi businessman whom I have written a speech for when he was invited as a commencement speaker at the Valenzuela Polytechnic College.

He said, “You can never stop being a parent.”

Our children will have different needs as they progress in life.

·         When children are babies, they need complete vaccine, diapers, and milk;

·         When they start to go to school, they need parental guidance for their academic performance;

·         When they reach their teenage years, they may have identity issues or other concerns that a parent should be able to help sort out;

·         Once they finish schooling, a parent should remain supportive for their children’s job hunting or career decisions;

·         When they start a family, the children may still need the wisdom and the occasional financial help from mom and dad…

You see, there is no “graduation day” for becoming a parent. Our children’s life journeys determine the constantly evolving challenges that they will have to weather. And these journeys are best taken care of when backed up by the tender love and care of mom and dad.

Here's my loving papa-turned-baby sitter to my daughter Hami.

 So, when do you stop being a parent?

Never.