Tita's Love Advice for Single Moms

Upon arriving at home from work, I headed to my daughter so we could stroll at the compound before we take our dinner. As we gazed at the night sky, I saw my aunt. She approached me and we had quite a long chat.

She asked me first how many months am I pregnant now. I said seven. She remarked that the reason why I rented a house last May was because I was still chasing the father of my children. That judgment irked me a little but I chose to understand that she has all the liberty in the world to have her opinion of me. I could only explain myself but whether people would believe or not, that’s beyond my control.

I told her that by the time my ex and I separated, it was barely a year when we called it quits. And even if we say that we’re better apart, it’s really difficult to forget the partner you loved for eight years. Eight long years with children. Eight long years that we were a family. When my aunt heard the word “love,” she nodded. Perhaps she understood that when you love someone, the sense of reason often disappears. She then shared that she had her own ordeals in her marital life and gave me some valuable advice.

1.       It’s more fun to be single. This is absolutely true. I have less stress now because I’m carefree with my actions. I can now decide on the clothes and make-up to wear. I can now socialize with my close friends more often. I can now handle my own money however I want, without being audited. I can now pursue my ambitions in life. And a lot of people also noticed that I look better nowadays.

2.       Separated women are prone to temptation. I hate this truth because I’m no flirt (my ex-boss who attempted to take advantage of my situation experienced my wrath). For me it’s fine to date nice people sometimes, only to gain friends; but beyond that, I’m not ready yet. I don’t even know if I’ll ever jump again into another relationship because with my children to mind, so far, I feel complete already. Right now, I receive 100% true, reciprocated, and appreciated love from my children and it feels wonderful!

3.       Cheaters are toxic partners. I was no longer surprised when my aunt told me that my cousin saw our former shop attendant at Valenzuela Medical Center holding a tiny baby a couple of months back. I already knew that my f*ckboy ex got our shop attendant pregnant and their child is just few months older than Hami. I used to ignore a lot of red flags before about his womanizing spree because he said those women were just making stories. Now, I’m just laughing at the news of his women left and right because I know that my children will always be the advantaged ones. Not only because I’m their mother but because they are the only family acknowledged by their grandmother in their father’s side.

4.       Be thankful to your parents. I’m lucky to have this bad experience at a young age while I can still recuperate from the damage brought about by my broken relationship. Both of my parents are still alive and strong to help me through financially and emotionally. I feel like I’m born again to correct my past mistakes, and to lead a better life with my beautiful children and my ageing parents – such a perfect picture of the modern family without a stressor.

5.       Always cling to God. Always the best advice. I could change my perspectives on how I view things, but it is only the Lord who could give me genuine joys in life that need no paradigm shifts.

48th Family Reunion

Since I was a kid, our family stages New Year’s Party every 31^st of December. It’s simply a night of kiddie party with lots of games and prizes that usually ends through a joint media noche at the compound and some fireworks display by the men in our clan.  

This 2016, I volunteered to organize the party because I am the one who has the free time (although not the money, hehe).

Out of curiosity, I asked around for a little history about our annual party. I learned that it was first organized by Tita Glo Baria, the sister-in-law of my Aunt Zeny, and they first held it at a building rooftop currently owned by a family friend. They called the party “For the Young Ones” and they used to sell tickets to pool funds for the merry-making.

This year, for our 48^th reunion/New Year’s party, I thought of reviving the “ticket selling” part to generate funds for the party, instead of the usual “solicitation” per family.  Since I would like to express my support to our budding baker in the family, I opted to introduce a simple cake raffle. Instead of compulsory contribution, I sold tickets to my cousins and siblings. Our aunts and uncles were exempted because most of them are grannies already. But of course, those who were willing to share additional funds were heartily welcomed.  

Almost everybody extended help in making the party possible. One of my cousins lent her disco ball which made the party look better. Mama shouldered the rent for the tables, chairs, and the videoke (since it’s also her birthday on January 1). Some also helped in the physical set up of the party place. Others helped in the preparation of materials for the parlor games. Most importantly, some have been very generous in giving out funds.

During the party, on the invocation part, I asked the children to write their prayer on a piece of paper. I made them form a circle and asked them to read their wish for the clan for 2017. The best wish I heard was from my niece who wished for unity. Then one by one, the children placed their prayer in a clay pot. I asked my father to bless the children’s prayers, as I burned the pieces of paper as a ceremonial invocation.

We had games not only for children but also for couples. In between series of games, we conducted our cake raffle. On the side, our male relatives were drinking wine while watching the kids enjoy. We also had our photo opportunity session.

Perfect Score of 100 for the Videoke Challenge

The Young Once: Fulgencio Brood

Kiddie Game: Blind Folded Trip to Jerusalem

My only decent pic with my more beautiful sister

Food Sharing

Our party culminated with flowing food from all the households at the family compound. The celebration may not be perfect, but surely it was a blast! 

First Bonding with the Kids in 2017

Happy New Year!

For my first blog entry this year, I’m sharing my favorite activity in my life – outdoor fun for my kids!

Thanks to Mother Helen, my kids’ grandma, who had been consistently providing financial support to Hami, for I am able to bring my children outside Valenzuela at least once a month.

We went first to SM North Annex intending to purchase a new cellphone charger but my sister-in-law volunteered to give me her extra Samsung charger instead, so, I didn’t buy. We then ate at our usual dining place, Tokyo-Tokyo, where my son ordered his favorite Tempura. We also went to Kultura where I purchased three sets of simple fresh water pearls, then to SM Appliance Center where I bought a new toaster as my post-wedding anniversary gift for my mama and papa.

During moments when my daughter refused to walk, my sister-in-law would help me with Hami. She would carry my 15-kilo two-year old girl while we stroll at the mall.

At the time we reached Trinoma, I decided to allow Vladimir to play at Timezone while I sit and wait at McDonalds to attend to my sleeping Hami and to our few purchased stuff from SM North. Vladimir finished playing at almost dinner time so he ate first before we proceeded to Trinoma’s “Christmas Village” for some picture taking. Our last stop was Landmark.

I really enjoyed watching my kids have fun. Hami was no longer that aloof to her Tita Mama, and Vladimir had been a responsible big brother, chasing his sister around every time Hami speeds up her walking pace.

It’s almost 10:00 pm when we arrived home. Papa was anxious and worried. I felt like a teenager being subjected to curfew again. But the moment I showed my papa my anniversary present for him and for mama, his fury subsided. He just asked who we’re with, and I told him we were with the kids’ aunt.

Gift of God Christmas Party 2016

The Gift of God Catholic Community is close to my heart because it is the organization which kept our family intact despite the obstacles that challenged our strength and unity.

Last year, I also had the chance to attend their Christmas Party which was held in one of their members’ residence. (Read entry here: http://missvalenzuela.blogspot.com/2015/12/the-gift-for-families.html)

This year, the group decided to have their party at St. Jude Court, Malinta, Valenzuela City. It was a good venue choice because it’s very neat and spacious; it’s safe for the kids because it’s fenced and gated; chairs and tables were readily available for borrowing at the barangay hall nearby; it’s accessible to public transportation; etc.

At first I didn’t know that my parents would ask me to join them because I’m not a group member. But when they started preparing their grandchildren for the party, common sense told me that they would need an extra hand to look after the kids. So, this year, I joined the party again – to babysit, which I didn’t mind of course. 

It was a simple yet well-organized party, and I must say that this one was handled better compared to last year. Gifts were pouring, there was ample food, and games were all enjoyable! On the side, I took the opportunity to take pictures of my family to document that precious bonding moment.

The Christmas Party that the Gift of God Catholic Community was a good reminder to me that if there’s one thing in my life that I can be truly proud of, it is having my parents who remained together for more than three decades now – as they  were lucky to achieve their “forever.”

Snacks & Ladders Bonding

Every Christmas, I find time to meet my college friends who are my children’s god parents. This year, we opted to dine at Snacks and Ladders in Maginhawa, Quezon City, perhaps with Ken having in mind that my kids will be joining. (Another bonding story with my college friends: http://missvalenzuela.blogspot.com/2015/12/christmas-time-is-reunion-time.html) 

The restaurant was truthful to its tagline, “the happiest place in Maginhawa,” because the moment we came in, my son Vladimir had been ecstatic to play its humongous chess board right beside the parking lot. My daughter, Hillary, followed her big brother and enjoyed playing with the pawns too.

Chess Players

I noticed that the people who hang out at the place are mostly teenagers – rich, thinking, decent kids —like the kind of kids that study in ValMaSci (This is compliment, hahaha!).

Play Area

The walls of the resto have shelves that display their available board games and toys that are either for rent or for sale. My good friend, Julie, accompanied my son to get a Jenga, which is my son’s dream toy. Ken, Vladimir’s godfather, also patiently played with him.

Ken & Vladimir playing bouncing balls

Hami playing with some colorful Tetris blocks

We had a lovely night spent. Vladimir received a toy, a wristwatch, and activity books from his godparents, Elmi and Ken; while Hami received a kitchenware set from her godmom Golda (it’s a totally perfect gift for Hami because she loves to play with spoons). I already told Julie that she will be the next godparent of my seven-month unborn baby in my tummy, which she gaily responded with “ssuuurrreee!”

                At first, I was hesitant to go to Maginhawa. Good thing I changed my mind because that not-so-explored area turned out to contribute a fine experience for my children. This 2016, we had happy holidays indeed!

Matchy-matchy Fashion in a Budget

When I was still in college, I used to enjoy budget shopping every Christmas and yet I was able to buy gifts for all the people who are close to my heart – my immediate family. With just 500 pesos, I already have something to wrap for all of them.

I also reckon one time when I was able to buy one set of Christmas outfit with the same amount of budget at the then existing Ever Gotesco in Caloocan City. My bargain wardrobe consisted of one off shoulder blouse for 100 pesos, one maong pants for round about 250 to 280 pesos, and brown, kinda heavy, wooden sandals at 100 pesos also. I was then accompanied by my cousin, Kuya Chrisvert. (That time, I was earning a little extra for selling Avon products to my classmates.)

Now that I’m a mom of two, I am happy to experience being my old self when shopping – a budget shopper who pays in cash and not through credit cards. I used my Christmas bonus to buy matchy-matchy outfits for myself and my kids: white top, blue maong shorts, and white sneakers. (I was doing mental Math while I was putting the clothes in the cart, haha!)

After the Christmas Mass

Thank God, my kids are good looking. They can pull off the plain clothes they wear. (Sorry to brag. I'm the mom. You understand, right? Hehe.)

For some reason, I am always mesmerized to see people wearing the same outfit whether they’re partners or parent-and-child. My latest inspiration were the photos of foreign parents with their “mini-me” children in their fabulous and similar get-ups which I just saw on Facebook a few months back.

Perhaps, I have adopted this particular inclination for uniform outfits from my mama.

My Mom & Her Grandkids

I remember when my sisters and I were little, she would often shop clothes of the same design for the three of us.

There was also one time when I joined an elocution contest in kinder, my mother hired a dress maker to create doll dresses for me and my sister Lavinia. Both of us were in red. Mine was bloody red, hers was polka dotted red.

While relaxing at my sister's place a few days ago, we were also happily reminiscing our childhood in Bicol. We were having a good laugh at how mama used to buy Kerokeroppi shirts and shorts for my siblings and my cousins for Christmas. On our way to the church, all of us cousins (eight kids) were like on a parade because we were wearing alike outfits. It was real fun! And I think we were getting public attention. Perhaps the people were thinking that mama and papa didn’t practice family planning because my cousins could really be misconstrued as our siblings too. Haha!

Until now, mama and papa still often wear their classic white tees and maong pants when attending church masses together. They ain’t flashy when it comes to style but as their child, I find them cute and sweet as I look at them from a distance. Isn't it nice to see couples who wear similar shirts outdoors?

During Vladimir’s 5^th party, I have also demonstrated my love for matching outfits. On his minion-themed, his dad and I wore yellow shirts and maong pants.

Vladimir's 5th Birthday (2014)

I wish for more matchy-matchy days with my children for it always brings a lovely feeling to the old soul in me.

Christmas Pictures of My “Love Team”

P.I.O.

The team that I love which caused me ups and downs. The team that honed my skills for five years. And the team that continues to teach me how life is.

When I resigned from Citigroup a couple of years back, I was torn between two job applications: I applied at the Registry of Deeds (national government agency) and the Public Information Office (local government unit). Although the former guaranteed higher compensation, my heart fell for PIO because I knew it was the place where I could finally use what I learned in college as a Speech Communication major. I was right. And I liked best the writing part.

I enjoyed my work so much that I felt that I gradually became workaholic. I used to feel that I had more sense of fulfilment at work rather than when I’m at our house. Then I had a domestic problem. And I had office concerns too. Despite my constant issues, part of my heart still belonged to PIO. I still opted to stay even if there were times I feel like I’m better off resigned.

What I feel for PIO is like being totally in-love with a partner who is too difficult to understand, yet too difficult to let go because it’s my comfort zone and it’s the only thing that satisfies most of my life’s passions.

On December 23, I attended our simple Christmas party at the Town Hall of Valenzuela Town Center. I only took few pictures for I know that most of my officemates will also use their camera phones to capture the moment. With the few shots I had, I’d like to share the story of my team in seven pictures:

1.       We’re naughty and nice.

It’s a plain background – a tarpaulin and few gift prizes for the games.

If you will look at the text on the tarpaulin, it says “Plantation Bay, Cebu City.” Pun was intended there because number one, until the last minute, we didn’t know our party venue considering that we were the local government’s events unit (Haha! The irony); number two, some of my officemates wanted to make our absent-officemates believe that the team got a free travel package from our big boss as an incentive because we’re “great”; and number three, we wanted to elicit the reaction of people from other “extravagant” departments when they find out that we’d still have to take plane ride just to get to our party venue. Despite these so many corny motives, at the end of the day, we just wanted to ward ourselves off the bad vibes that recently lurk around our office domain.

2.       We’re each other’s piece of cake.

This cake was baked by Kuya Jocar. It looks nice, isn’t it? It tasted good too. This cake is like the members of my team. We’re artists and office personnel who are beautifully created by God to serve one purpose – to deliver public service. We may not be perfect, but we’re stronger when we’re united.

3.       We see light amidst darkness.

Like this chandelier shot, our office shines beautifully in the eyes of many departments. We are their artists and documentarists. We often get involved in nasty controversies yet we remain functional and productive.

4.     Most of us got balls.

       Literally and figuratively.

5.       We accept challenges with smiles on our faces.

Sometimes I wonder why certain bad things had to happen in our office. Before, we were all happy and united. Times changed, some horns bloated and some monsters were born. Despite these, a lot of us still choose to shrug off the bad vibes every day. All of us put our happy faces on. It’s a very useful mask. *Grin.

6.       We laugh at green jokes (some don’t).

Our artists are funny men who often crack green jokes. Although a lot of us can grasp these, there are some who don’t appreciate it.

7.       We’ll go where our circumstances will lead us to.

Our office experience is just a slice of our mundane lives. No matter how much we wanted to stick around, we couldn’t avoid being shaken. So while we’re here, I suppose we’re just enjoying our journey.

Team PIO, hang on…